Kelsey On Singleness in the Church Part II

I've been rolling all of this over and over in my head since my post yesterday, and I was reminded of a conversation I had with a fellow single person at church a couple weeks ago. He's in his 30s and works with a college ministry and was sharing with me the perspective of many current Christ-following Gen Z college students: they're learning from the mistakes of their parents and are living their life deeper. They're evaluating situations, traditions, and norms and are deciding for themselves what they value rather than just doing something because it's "traditional" or "expected by culture. They're filtering our societal norms through Scripture and making steps closer to Christ rather than in the path of tradition (not to say they shirk all tradition-they just filter it through Scripture before acting). What this means is that many Gen Z (and likely Gen Alpha) young people are staying single longer. They're seeking Jesus for themselves and waiting for a partner who is truly equally yoked before they begin a family. This is inspiring to me. This is what we should all do as Christ followers. 

What are the implications for the church? There are probably dozens, one of which being a likely increased proportion of single people in the church over the next decade or so. 

Of the churches I've attended as a single person, the one I currently call my "church home" has done the best of making single people feel seen. The previous ones, though...well, suffice it today they did not. At one previous church, I was dating someone when we visited for the first time. I walked into the lobby with him and the pastor's wife B-lined for us (no exaggeration). She introduced herself and the next thing out of her mouth was "Are you dating or married?" We said dating. She asked "When is the wedding?" I would love to say I saw the writing on the wall and left that church never to return, but (forever the optimist) I kept going back for a year. Little by little, I felt more like an afterthought as I stayed unmarried. Eventually I left to find a place that saw my value in the Kingdom of God as an individual.

Do I think churches are trying to portray this to single people? Not at all. I think they have good intentions. But I (along with most every single person in church) feel like, despite their good intentions, many churches are missing the mark. No church will ever be perfect. I do stand firmly, though, that concerted effort must be made to make everyone feel valuable and included for who they are, not who/what they could become. After all, that is the message of Christ.